I'm having what we expats tend to call an "I hate Korea day."
But, it's a little more complicated than that.
Sure, I'm angry. So angry that it feels more like helplessness than actual rage. I'm angry at Yoon's for taking advantage of us. I'm angry for the potential money we lost. I'm angry for the time and effort spent on a fruitless project. But, most of all, I'm angry at what this experience has done to my outlook on life. I don't trust people to have the best intentions. And I certainly don't give them the benefit of the doubt.
Though I've always considered myself more of a realist than an optimist, I think my youth and inexperience gave me the kind of naive happiness that my generation is known for. I believe this year was the final straw on that proverbial camel's back.
On top of all this, I have conflicting feelings about leaving Korea and even our trip.
I'm not a quitter and Yoon's is robbing me of the opportunity to finish what I started.
I can't wait to go home, but I'm terrified of the prospect of not finding a job. I can definitely see why many people stay abroad, hopping from one country to the next teaching English rather than facing the market back home.
I'm excited for our trip, but I'm so tired and stressed that I find myself sometimes wishing that we were going straight home.
It's all a bit much, really. I just keep saying, "I look forward to looking back."